12.18.2011

A Colonoscopy For Chris - tmas?!?



I am pretty sure I have mentioned before: Lou Rawls is so good, he even makes Christmas music good. Great, really. It's like he's the King of Kings or something!!



Download Lou Rawls, "Little Drummer Boy"
If your heart is not putrid and upside-down and evil and filled with snuff, you should continue listening to all Rawls' Xmas goodness on YouTube . There is nary a cheeseball in there. Maybe a snowball or two...

...also, Operation SnowDump begins tomorrow! Ask Kyle, if you're intrigued: "Op S" is the secret title for all our big secret Portland plans...

Speaking of intrigued, when I began search-typing "Lou Rawls Christmas"
(because I mean it, his whole Christmas album is good, so I didn't know just which song I wanted to play)
well shucks, I got to the "C" of "Xmas", and what popped up?!?!

It's in English, as the clip title helpfully states, but let's remember:
Christmas is not just for Chris, nor just for English-speakers.
Christmas is for everybody.


Oh, by the way, I meant it when I put an enema on my Christmas list. Nuh Be Afeared: go ahead and buy me one. In fact, be really not scared:

Go for a BOGO!

12.07.2011

Infamous Anniversary

Since today's is an anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, I am throwing this at you. Put it on blast-
Team America!; Team Isley!



Download Isley Brothers, "Ballad of the Fallen Soldier" here

I didn't say "blast" to be funny. It was an accident; yet, since it is a little bit funny, I will leave it.
Another happy accident: I googled 'peral harbor' first (to check if today was the day or not ... shameful not to know, isn't it?). What if it were called "Feral Harbor"?
Wouldn't that be wild?!?!

That's a feral pig, dummy.

Jay-Z sampled the Isley Brothers' "Ballad of the Fallen Soldier": the keyboard hook and some guitar...


And you know what? The hell with Jay-Z. That's right, I said it. Why is that fool rapping about marriage?
Just because he is married is not a good excuse!
I do not want to hear songs about marriage right now- that is why I am listening to the hip-hop radio station.
Only NPR stations give you less about marriage than hip-hop radio. Well, NPR talks all the time about GayMarriage (...liberals...) fair enough. But I thought I could count on rappers to uphold their fine tradition of pretending like love and ruinous heartbreak simply never happen.

What the fuck rap?!
You blew it.