A Colonoscopy For Chris - tmas?!?

I am pretty sure I have mentioned before: Lou Rawls is so good, he even makes Christmas music good. Great, really. It's like he's the King of Kings or something!!



Download Lou Rawls, "Little Drummer Boy"
If your heart is not putrid and upside-down and evil and filled with snuff, you should continue listening to all Rawls' Xmas goodness on YouTube . There is nary a cheeseball in there. Maybe a snowball or two...

...also, Operation SnowDump begins tomorrow! Ask Kyle, if you're intrigued: "Op S" is the secret title for all our big secret Portland plans...

Speaking of intrigued, when I began search-typing "Lou Rawls Christmas"
(because I mean it, his whole Christmas album is good, so I didn't know just which song I wanted to play)
well shucks, I got to the "C" of "Xmas", and what popped up?!?!

It's in English, as the clip title helpfully states, but let's remember:
Christmas is not just for Chris, nor just for English-speakers.
Christmas is for everybody.


Oh, by the way, I meant it when I put an enema on my Christmas list. Nuh Be Afeared: go ahead and buy me one. In fact, be really not scared:

Go for a BOGO!

Infamous Anniversary

Since today's is an anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, I am throwing this at you. Put it on blast-
Team America!; Team Isley!



Download Isley Brothers, "Ballad of the Fallen Soldier" here

I didn't say "blast" to be funny. It was an accident; yet, since it is a little bit funny, I will leave it.
Another happy accident: I googled 'peral harbor' first (to check if today was the day or not ... shameful not to know, isn't it?). What if it were called "Feral Harbor"?
Wouldn't that be wild?!?!

That's a feral pig, dummy.

Jay-Z sampled the Isley Brothers' "Ballad of the Fallen Soldier": the keyboard hook and some guitar...


And you know what? The hell with Jay-Z. That's right, I said it. Why is that fool rapping about marriage?
Just because he is married is not a good excuse!
I do not want to hear songs about marriage right now- that is why I am listening to the hip-hop radio station.
Only NPR stations give you less about marriage than hip-hop radio. Well, NPR talks all the time about GayMarriage (...liberals...) fair enough. But I thought I could count on rappers to uphold their fine tradition of pretending like love and ruinous heartbreak simply never happen.

What the fuck rap?!
You blew it.

"Happy" Music? Really Though?

The Blackbyrds' Happy Music



(Download Happy Music by The Blackbyrds at Mediafire)

The Internet doesn't have the full lyrics anywhere- so I will supply the missing lyrics which are relevant for our purposes:

" when you get up/and you gotta / start your day
feelin' lazy/and confused / you can find your way
Happy music/is the music / you need to play
if you want to/it will help you / save your day "

Good thing I am not writing my dissertation right now, because today, and the days that are like, have been and will be like, today, even preparing for class seems a chore.
Confused and Lazy.

Happy Music, sure, but also pretty dark for this band. Sort of the inverse of a point I've made before: The Stooges' "No Fun" is actually probably their most fun song.


For the Blackbyrds (most of their songs are fun, and light 'n' mellow),
this actually has a pretty dark edge.


Now, dark and happy are not strictly opposed- but neither do they have any necessary connection.
You could be both dark and happy at one moment, but that would be a bit of the old "cake and eat it too," wouldn't it?


So certainly these days (late-year, ... etc. ...) are dark, but ideally, they would be happy, for you, as well.

Bad Luck

I found $5 on the sidewalk the other day: good luck.
Other than that, I've had only Bad Luck these days (not to be self-indulgent). I mean, even the $5 had been sitting out in the rain. Got all wet.


{jump to 3:00 if you don't want to see Richard Pryor chat with them}

This Bad Luck started months ago. Of course, I know someone else who had the very same run of bad luck. Very sad and very true.
But I won't go on about it here- blogs aren't the place for showing your face.



"Blue Notes" indeed.

Anyhow: this is a good dance song about bad luck.
[as Teddy states: "Ain't it a groove!"]
Bad Luck as a danceable theme may seem strange- but then, think of Stevie Wonder's "Superstition." Stevie's song came out in 1972, and the above song (with Teddy Pendergrass and the rest of Harold Melvin's Blue Notes) came out in 1975.
Was Bad Luck in the air, in the æther, those days,
as it seems to be today?

Amanda Knox: JailBait, or JailBreak??

(jail)BREAKING NEWS
Amanda Knox's prior conviction just overturned!
(--> USA wins again! <--)


Live Motörhead: "Jailbait"
You can download the studio version here

Here are the headlines that I've come up with so far:
"Foxy Knoxy Bounced From Box"
"Foxy Knox Walks Free From Cell Blocks"

Note that at about 4:15 in above video, Motörhead also plays their song "America." It's about how you can't get good meth in Canada; you have to bring it up from the USA for any proper Canadian tour.
As I said: AMERICA wins again!

OR, you can celebrate her freedom with the Irish rather than the British.


Live Thin Lizzy- "Jailbreak"
And you can download (a non-live version of) the above track here

This song title is a bit more accurate as a descriptor of Knox, yeah?, since jailbait causes, rather than suffers, jailtime. Of course, her boyfriend also went to jail... well, he's her ex-boyfriend now... and he's been freed too.

So I'm not sure if she can qualify for "jailbait" status-
What do you think?

Na Woo Woo, Nuh Ow Ow: Pro Baseball, Pro Edition

Did you know that currently, only 4 Major League baseball teams lack a mascot? (MGX indicated this to me.) The Cubs, of Chicago, Illinois, are one of these four teams. However, they do have a sort of unofficial mascot. Well, really, he's a superfan: one Ronnie "Woo-Woo". So called because he's prone to shouting "woo".



Download Wilson Pickett's "Land of 1,000 Dances"

So, this Wilson Pickett song may have a "woo or two" in it. It definitely has some "huh", "ow", "uh" action. And it has the famous
"na, na na na, na nuh na na nuh na nana"
starting about :35. You know, what they play at baseball games all the time.

(Do they play music at pro football games? Could you even hear it outside? If not, how do the players get pumped up- other than steroids?)

Ronnie "Woo Woo"'s been attending games from about 1959, which is before my mother was born (hey Ma!).
While his demeanor and devotion to attendance have gained him fame in the Greater ChicagoLands area, his life has not been all sun and roses: no, far from it. He's been homeless (but still attended games, thanks to generous other parties), and later, a fundraiser was held for him so he could get a new pair of dentures.

Poor guy was born prematurely, which shows you: he's a fighter, he's always been a fighter.

He was even struck by a car outside the game once, and had to go to a Masonic hospital, which would frighten me.
What if they make you join up?
Or, worse, what if you ask to join, but they become cryptic all of the sudden, and then your pain meds start getting reduced, and you know, it gets pretty painful. All this, simply because you wanted a sweet ring like these:







Or, mayhaps, this is the ring you always wanted :

Tell the World I Feel Proud About 'Cha

To force a smile onto your face, a handful of reasons for minor celebration in Philadelphia this week:

1) You can now stream (at www.tsopsoulradio.com), all hours and all days, the famed "Sound of Philadelphia".

The Sound of Philadelphia (aka TSOP) is associated almost entirely with Gamble and Huff and their label Philadelphia International Records (aka PIR).


Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, "Tell the World How I Feel About 'Cha Baby"

Philadelphia International Records, of which I have spoken to you before, is proudly displaying their archives, like a musical peacock.

Some of this stuff, I imagine, is otherwise only available on vinyl or even 8-track.
I have already streamed it on my IPhone; it was easy. I had to download an app called Shoutcast, which lets you stream podcasts on a smartphone, more or less.

This is all part of a big push to re-release and promote the great catalog of Philadelphia International Records. This is a back catalog that rivals Motown, no question.
(Do you demand Proof? Scroll my PIR-related archives, or listen to the Shoutcast player embedded above.)


2) The scaffolding is off Philadelphia's city hall, finally. The word "finally" is called for, since this eyesore has been clouding my view of Philly's literal centerpiece for years. As soon as you thought it was down, you realized that it had merely rotated to another side! Scaffolding, of some form or another and on some side or another, has been up since the 80's.
Like the cleaning, the construction of the building dragged on for decades (more info here).
But now both are complete, so tip your hat to Penna and Phila.



3) The hurricane passed without much incident. Sort of a funny thing to note, that an absence, a non-entity, is worth celebrating. But that's how people think, isn't it? People compare purely imaginative "events" (what could have been [= what did not occur] ) and judge which would be really better.

Which of these "never happened" events is better?: if I would have had one samurai sword in 1997,

or two smaller blades in 1999?

Well, it's sort of stupid to even ask. And all such comparisons of purely fictitious entities are just as ridiculous.
You can't respond, "well, the hurricane really might have been worse,"
because in fact, the hurricane really (REAL-ly) Was Not.
There might be degrees of being, but there are not degrees of non-being; that is, there is no meaning in describing things that are not real, as "almost real." And it is yet more foolish to then judge the goodness of these non things, to pick one nothing as "more" something-good than another nothing.

Allergic to People? Then "Be Your Own Pet"

I was just wondering, can cats be allergic to people? Why not, right?


"Wildcat!" by Be Your Own Pet

Think about it:
when my allergies are really bad, I rub my face a lot. Putting pressure on my nasal passages feels good.
(Ironically, putting pressure on them relieves pressure.)

Now think about THIS: cats rub their faces on things all the time. Margeaux's cat, which is now our cat (because we moved in together, which is great), not only demands that I rub her face, but if I am remiss in my face-rubbing-duty, she will rub her own face on anything: a table leg, say.

That darn cat seems to have a lot of pressure to relieve. Either she is highly stressed (...hiiighly doooubtful...) or allergic to humans.
These are the only two options.

Speaking of two options, here is another video of the same song.

(another Be Your Own Pet clip)

Now, this one is more fun, but distinctly more odd. As video background, it has what I'm guessing is Eraserhead (ne'er seen it). This plays for 30 seconds before the music starts, and then, hey wow, more clips!
Crazy clips! from the movie Freaks, more from Eraserhead, something with Brigitte Bardot in it (she's racist), and something which has to be a Russ Meyer film.

Sprang Thang: The Blackbyrds' "Thankful 'Bout Yourself"

It's pouring down rain again -- Spring has Sprung, I guess -- but let's bracket that, and listen to and download some summer something.


The Blackbyrds on YouTube

Download the Blackbyrds' Thankful 'Bout Yourself.mp3
This song is the kind that will go on the Cosby Show mix, "Hello Jello".

Speaking of BlackByrds, what is going on with all the bird deaths lately? Could it be....
a sign of the impending apocalypse?!?!?!
Clearly a rhetorical question.



Margeaux and I saw a dead bird by my house; I saw two more by Villanova's main chapel; the three ladies-who-lunch next to me are talking about seeing some too. I think it is fair to hazard that they saw different birds than the ones I saw. Which means that there is a minimum of four dead birds, seen by 5 different people -- clearly we have an epidemic on our hands.

But what kind of epidemic? Avian Bird Flu? Maybe the birds flew too much and died of exhaustion?: but what were they flying away from? The planet's impending doom, perhaps?
Or something more sinister?...?

Aren't birds supposed to get born, not die, in the spring?
Well. Anyhow.

Fire Dance With Me- Ohio Players

Well, as of noon, I am done with the semester.
In full. In toto. In-joying myself.

Margeaux will be done tonight too. Which requires that I present another helping of the mix I am preparing: Hello Jello!, the The Cosby Show-inspired mix I mentioned last time.


on YouTube - Ohio Players: Together, from their album FIRE.

Ayo! Si muy caliente, y fuego mas fina!
Please note the almost NSFW cover art. Scandalous.


I am not sure if I will put this very song on the mix yet, but certainly some Ohio Players song will go on there. The YouTube clip doesn't have to be the exact song yet, since I am just trying to let you know what type of sounds to expect.

The clips are just a taste,


just a teaser,


of what greatness and grandness is to come.

Maybe "Fire" will go on the mix, that is a big one; maybe "Ecstasy" would be better for this mix than "Together." "Ecstasy" got a li'l more bounce to it; but then, "Together" has those horns. Brass instruments will be big on this mix,
because it is going to be deeply funky.

High On Jello

For a mix I'm putting together, inspired by The Cosby Show, called Hello Jello!



My lady friend Margeaux loves The Cosby Show, so I am making this mix for her. Still crafting it though: I will post songs that have the right sound here first, until I shove the full, fully finished mix on you.

And what is that "Right Sound?" It will be dentist-office funk: smooth (or even shmoove) jazzy things. Describable as slinky maybe. "Easy, not Cheesy." (that should be trademarked, yeah?)
The songs are having fun, without being outright silly. Loose-limbed, they will make a nice background as we shift into early summer.
Sade could go on there, although maybe she won't. Why?: because I want it to sound Cosby-era, so 70's and 80's gems.

( Although technically Sade's 1st US single came out at the end of 1984*, to me, Sade feels like 90's music. And although technically Cosby show started just a few months before that**, since I don't remember watching it much [although I did watch it plenty- when I watch it now, I can recall the plots as they are unfolding], it feels 70's-80's to me. )

* had to look it up
** also had to look that up, believe it


Enough about the mix; how about the song and band?

The Commodores do "Brick House": you know that song. It would totally play at a wonderful summer wedding reception:





The Commodores also had Lionel Richie in their band for a minute. Weirdly, after he left, they got more mellow. Once he was gone, they started to sound, well, like Lionel Richie. Before that, they were this hard-driving 'fonk' machine.

De La Soul sampled this song, on the Stakes Is High album. That is a feloniously undervalued record, like all of their records (except for 3 Feet High... And Rising: that gets about the right amount of praise).

( First De La album I ever bought- a little late to these fellows... 2000? also, I have it on vinyl, AND, after the above Commodores song, De La Soul came next on my iTunes random. F'serious! )

What I was initially leaning toward putting on Margeaux's mix was the Commodores song, "Girl, I Think the World About You" (obv), which I will:

1) maybe still put on the mix
and
2) maybe put up on to Youtube, where it cannot yet be found. Can it really be all that tough to post to YouTube?

De La also sampled"Girl, I...", for "Hey Buddy;" so you can see where their heads are at, right?
Tricky sampled The Commodores too!: info for the samples got drawn from this detailed site, Sample Spotters. 19 songs- nineteen- are listed for sampling (just the drums) from a single Commodores track.
Wow.